Living the life?
What’s up folks!? This is GK here, writing to you from 34,000 feet sitting in…wait for it…first class. That’s right, it seems that my reputation proceeds me here at United. They checked my boarding pass and said, “Oh, Greg Kuchyt? Oh, Mr. Kuchyt we can’t have you traveling coach, please take a complimentary upgrade to first class!” *Sits back with foot room and clasps hand behind his head* That’s right, things are hard here on the A-list.
Haha, actually that’s not what happened, but it doesn’t hurt to have a little fun! I’m not really sure how this happened but quicker than I could process it, a very kind gentlemen was forcing a 1st-class ticket in my hand telling me he wanted my seat so he could be next to, what I’m assuming/hoping was his child. The only thing I could stammer out was “Are you sure?” and he emphatically insisted. With no shame, I abandoned all coveted Man-Law and abandonded Matt in coach to take my seat with the airborn elite…my people. I was finally coming home.
Honestly, I sat down in my seat feeling incredibly out of place wearing my incredibly abused apprach shoes and pants. Hearing my fellow first-classers discuss their careers and introduce themselves, I find myself in the mix with high-level business people, an intellectual property lawyer, and a “complex corporate contract” lawyer. Like I said…my people…right?
The stewardess comes around taking everyone’s meal choices for dinner. She looks at my seat, 1D, and looks it up on the manifest. Like something out of a sitcom, she suspiciously inquires, “Mr. Yu?” Damn, I’ve been sanbagged…it’s pretty obvious that I can’t pass for a Mr. Yu. I decided honesty was the best policy and explained the situation. *Phew* No problem.
Honestly, first class makes you feel good (read as “important”), but I don’t see the value for the extra money. Maybe if you flew all the time I could understand it more. However, being somewhat of a dirtbag anyway, this just feels uncomfortable for me. The fact that as I sit here I’m noticing that my approach shoes smell awful from too many days wearing them without socks between climbs isn’t helping me feel like I fit in either. Seriously, I just feel bad for how much the stewardess has to work up here. There is a pre-meal snack, a full meal, a dessert, pre-flight beverages, in-flight beverages, and then supposedly a rumored, pre-landing snack. For doing nothing but sit in a seat for 6 hours, we’re being well taken care of calorically. It’s a good thing I’m a 5.13 belayer, so I can work off these calories.
Alright, I think I’ve railed on first class enough in my ironically elistist rise to the soap box. I should just chalk it up to a perk I don’t really understand and wouldn’t normally take. It’s just not my style, then again I also keep my aparment at 55 in the winter, ride and walk as much as I can, and then there is the ice climbing thing…the mother of making yourself deal with pretty minimal comfort. So maybe these aren’t my people after all…go figure.